Testimonials: they have chosen not to have children

Testimonials: they have chosen not to have children

  "I consider that having a child is a decision we do not take lightly: it is a commitment and a responsibility for life. At 22, I lost my older sister suddenly and my father a year later. I can not take the risk of having children to see them disappear one day because of an accident or illness ... My younger sister, she has two children. My mother is happy and everything is going well. I will not know that wonderful feeling, it seems, to put a child into the world, but I do not regret what I do not know. I have once or twice been stupid remarks like "you have no children, you can not understand ..." I do not feel so far diminished or less humanely, but somehow freer. And I see nothing selfish in not wanting children, on the contrary! "

Julie

"Giving my children to be raised by a nanny, no thank you"

"I am a flight attendant since 1993 and I live in Paris. I am 47 and I have not had children. I saw very well, I am pleased as even though I love children! What sense would have to go abroad almost every other week and give my children to be raised by a nanny? On the other hand, financially, I felt not having a sufficient margin to raise children without me to worry. "

Hélène

"I do not have to justify myself nor to argue"

 "I'm 34, I work, I am a partner and good about myself. I thrive in my job and my love life but having a child is not one of my cravings. And that, for a long time. I asked several times gynecologists access to contraception final but several have responded to me that "I was still young and that I could change my mind." Except that I fully assume what is my choice. I do not have to justify myself nor arguments to defend my position. To me it is obvious that motherhood is not an obligation to achieve personally. Although the Company encourages us to think otherwise ... "

Audrey

"We chose abortion"

"My husband and I wanted children, but it did not. A few years of assisted reproduction and several miscarriages later, we decided to start an adoption procedure. During the period before obtaining approval, prospective parents are scrutinized by psychologists and social workers of the General Council. They asked us some really good questions, which makes us reflect on our desires, our future ways of doing so The idea made its way slowly. Once the authorization obtained, we continued a little our way: discouragement and finance have become the watchwords! Discouragement because in France, we must cling to be given a child born under X. Finance because the first letters coming of foreign adoption organizations have told us about money first, we had the impression of buying a child! We decided at that time to stop everything. We have decided at this time not to have children. And then a few years later, I became pregnant. We chose abortion. For us, the decision was made and we could not go back. In the end, why this choice? This freedom! We manage our lives as we understand it, we have no stress and it's good! Of anguished nature, I've realized that this choice has deprived me a real big stress. "

Amélie

"My mother cried"

"When I told my mother I did not want a child, she cried. When I mentioned it to some friends, they have taxed me as "selfish". I was also told that I had not met "the man who would change my mind." Except that I am not a whim here, motherhood is just a choice for me too engaging for the future. I bet a lot about my professional career and motherhood seems to me incompatible with my job. I do not feel that famous "maternal instinct." I am independent, free, and find my fulfillment in many things: work, certainly, but also travel, sexuality, life simply. "

Nora

"I'm afraid that my body changes"

"I always said that I would have children, but I must admit that over the years I wonder: do I really want to be a mother? I am 28, I see my friends have children, their lives change completely and mostly I see no longer belong, but being in this kind of mutation in which their bodies, their minds, their fears, their joys , their past, their future is no longer projected on their child. I'm single and I'm about to do a world tour. They look at me and listen to me talk about it with envy and regret but also with guilt. The guilt feeling that urge because after all, be a mother in our society still seems to be THE success of every woman, the goal ... I find it so frustrating! I never saw my parents' love and yet they have separated when I was 25. They sacrificed their lives as women and men for their children, for the family at the expense of love, sensuality, sexuality, the couple. I also have this terrible fear that my marriage tarnished this, I fear that motherhood move away from the duo that I will form with my partner. There is also something else, which is still incredibly difficult to speak in public is guilty as women who do not want children, it is this fear that my body changes. I love my body, I like to feel good, I still want to be long desired. With motherhood, I'm afraid to share this body, afraid to also suffer and that body turns and my sensuality disappears. Talking about this amounts to switch to a superficial woman, I find it annoying! I want to be free and love, I want to be free to be in love or not, without this choice depends on a life. "

Julie

"Women also flourished as those who choose to be mothers"

"I'm single, I'm 38 and I'm without child ... I think we should think twice before making a child in the society in which we live. If I do not become Mom, I'm not going to make a fuss, quite the contrary! Today I find that some are sometimes a child to a child, it is sometimes limits an accessory: "Look at me, I belong to the standard". In this society, having children is a guarantee of development and is supposed to make us "normal" to others. Normality, obligation, and so on: I find that it takes a lot of things to a woman! I find it a shame that in our society, the woman who chooses not to have children be forced to justify himself. These women "who are not in the standard" are in my opinion far flourished as those chosen to be mothers. "

Carolina

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