The first links weaves a baby with his mother founded his capacity for happiness . It is on this secure base , " the psychic portage" , the toddler develops self-awareness and can grow confident , serene and happy!
Make her happy baby from birth
Whether you are an adult or child, we know we are not alone when our feelings are recognized and taken into account. To feel good , a baby needs from his birth than those who care for them can reflect what he saw. It is essential that one is listening to her with empathy, we seize his views without being overwhelmed by her distress and that helps him to understand what he is going through.
Helping your child to open up to the world
With this support, it learns to recognize emotions, to have clearer ideas to adapt to their social environment, open to the world . Gradually, over the months , the child acquires the ability to manage their feelings instead of being overwhelmed , to tolerate frustration, to control impulses .
In over twenty years of consultations in pediatrics at Boston, pediatrician Claudia M. Gold understood that daily behavior problems - colic, sleep disturbances , eating disorders, repeated anger , anguish, tears - are actually symptoms of disturbance in the relationships established with the baby 's parents. The child can not regulate the expression of his emotions, his mother either, there is a quarrel between them, they are angry , sad ...
Intense and overwhelming emotions
To avoid this type of problem, it is not enough to explain to parents how to be with their child. Told what to do is useless if they do not understand its underlying motivations. What particular support the baby he needs to be blown ? That Claudia Gold Appoints original way the " psychic portage" . Carrying a child psychologically , is to try to understand their behavior and meet their needs in an atmosphere of kindness empathetic , while providing a framework to contain and soothe his intense and sometimes overwhelming emotions . In babies , the left brain , the language and rationality , has not yet taken the controls on the right brain , the emotions and affects. Largely dominated by the right brain , a baby trying to understand the world and became an avid reader , a true expert emotions that quest in its environment.
Emotions permeate a toddler as deep as the sponge absorbs water, they are its primary food and requires that those who love him consider his emotional needs even before its conventional food needs in particular.
This essential recognition goes largely by the loving eyes of his mother and allows the baby to feel alive , to be true . Where does this first of the mother but also the father in a second time capacity , to "bear his child thinking ?"
Immediate maternal empathy
Claudia Gold , this is linked to the commitment that the little human innate feel for his mother. This is the British psychoanalyst John Bowlby, who spoke first attachment to describe how a child presses against her mother in times of stress and fear. Secure attachment this essential relationship , born and raised when the parent is fully available emotionally . The toddler feels free to explore the world , strong certainty in case of fear or danger, the person caregiver has the appropriate reaction.
If nobody is really available to him , if his mother is only intermittently or is emotionally detached, depressed , for example , the child will show insecure attachment , it may alternatively be sticky or aggressive to the towards his mother unreliable or too unpredictable .
The second component of a " psychic portage" safe is the immediate empathy experienced by a mother for her child , being mentally and physically feel what he feels , his ability to consider the experience of his views , to put in its place . Usually a sensible mother agrees quickly to the natural rhythms of her baby , watching , she discovers what he needs and adapts accordingly.
Become the " secure base " of her child
The third component is the way it will be able to regulate difficult emotions of her toddler . It must be able to accept his feelings by setting limits to its overflow , helping to calm , containing his anger and frustration. The fourth component of psychic port relies on the ability or capacity of the mother to control his own feelings, his tantrums , his anger . It should never be crushed by his distress, even in moments of great stress , to stay attentive , responsive to her baby.
To become a " secure base " from which the baby can explore the world, a mother needs all the help possible. Practical help , not to take care of her baby , but for house chores . A friendly company too, a friend who brings the young mother emotional support. Family, grandmother , for example , can play this role.
If this is not possible, the immense popularity of Moms Forums Internet has become an effective way to search a database of security to users .
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