It tells me nothing!

It tells me nothing!

 At best, we say that Theo is introverted, and that a little anxiety. At worst, he suffered a trauma that makes the mute ... and that we downright panic. Do not worry! According to Dr. JD Nasio, psychiatrist and psychoanalyst of children, many parents who complain little loquacity of their toddler. We would like everyone to know what he lives and feels, sometimes to the point of bombing the issues. A false good idea, according to the expert, which we strongly advise him to stick the pressure. But no question as to stay out of his life, under the pretext of respecting her secret garden, "the secret garden owned by adult, sees the psychiatrist. I'm not for a rigid respect for the privacy of the child. We first there to ensure that it fits to prevent possible hazards. "The idea would be to make him talk ... but not requiring it. Not easy, but possible. Already in understanding why he is silent, then using careful strategy. Explanations.

A question of age

 The more he grows, the child speaks less, and this is normal. "At birth, the baby has no self-awareness, says JD Nasio. It does not distinguish between himself and the outside world (parents, siblings, her nanny ...). He realizes that he is "him" (and no other) to two to three years only. "It was also at this age that his cognitive functions, such as the language develops. He will start talking and talking without restraint! For if it was now conscious of being "separated", to exist as an individual own, it does not even feel his privacy. "He believes that the adult knows all of it, the expert resumes, including what he thinks. Then he tells seamlessly. At about six-seven, he sees that he has an inner life, feelings, thoughts which the other does not have access. "All this, he learns to be silent, because he is gaining autonomy and understands the power of speech, who could serve well. "Often he fears misjudged if he told what he saw, says the psychiatrist. This is the case of the child who has been abused by a boyfriend in the school yard, and will be afraid of passing for a coward. "He would rather be silent or lie. For it is also at this stage of development the child learns the lie, "he incorporated the idea that one does not know what he knows, what he thinks, what he wants. "

A misunderstanding of emotions

 Theo comes home from school crying. If he confesses that he argued with his best friend, we answered "do not know" when asked how he feels. There, he certainly does not lie! As explained J.-D. Nasio, "the child is fully capable of feeling emotions ... but not clearly indicate, let alone name them! For example, it may be afraid without knowing what it is really. "Normal, therefore, it responds" I do not know. " For us to be patient, especially as it can last until adolescence! "This is where the real learning begins identifying emotions, resumed expert. The first in which he has access, it is love and group exclusion. "Yes, it's band, to his friends that he will learn. Hence the importance to always be interested in his friends, and from an early age! Remember that "adolescence is preparing" as said Dr. Nasio.

Too pressing relatives

 "What do you mean you do not remember what you did at school? Are you kidding me ? Come on, tell! "We said, go into force is a losing strategy. Our expert also considers 80% our chances of getting a terse response or no response at all. Yet it is important, even essential to encourage them to talk to us, even if only to better protect, but also to maintain a special relationship. How, in practice? "Once again, we must be patient. And then cease solicitation directly advises J.-D. Nasio. The solution: adopt a transversal approach, using "objects" intermediary to achieve this. "Example: he draws as we read? We put our book and approaches him to look at his drawing, and be interested. "Hey, who is this character who plays ball? Lily, your classmate? Oh, that's what you did today? It was good ? ". Certainly Theo answer our questions without even noticing!

When to worry?

 "When a child is in the silence" hard "says Dr. JD Nasio. He speaks to outdoor one at home neither in school nor in the leisure center or with friends. It is certainly fearful or phobic. It's a minor abnormality, but must carry out the consultation. "

Tagged : It tells me nothing.